What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
