I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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