we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
