Kiss
Puke
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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