I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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