what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
