We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
