so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
