he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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