You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
