something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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