Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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