I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
