my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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