gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize