I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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