Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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