idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
