so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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