So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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