You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
