Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
