I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
