even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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