I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I love having hate sex.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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