I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
