he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
