..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We had sex on a dog bed..
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
