friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
