It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
