Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
