I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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