omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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