but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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