wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
