i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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