I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
