we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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