She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
