at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize