Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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