Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
