We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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