All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
