Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...