you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize