So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Porn is love you can see.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
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I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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