k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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