...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
