shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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