false alarm. still invincible.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
