is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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