If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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