Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
