i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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