i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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