Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize