i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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