For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
