its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
